#022: Danelle Demonstrates Coaching [Podcast]

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People often don’t see the power of coaching until they see it demonstrated. In this episode, Danelle coaches Brian on his next sermon topics. Danelle has taken two coaching classes and ten hours of mentor coaching. In my opinion, she has become a very effective coach.

You will hear:

  • an effective use of the Hour Glass coaching model
  • an established coaching agreement
  • powerful questions that lead to new thinking
  • customized next steps developed
  • an establishment of accountability
  • a debrief of the coaching — what went well, what could have been better

Thank you Danelle for being transparent with your coaching ability.

Everybody is different, but I hope this podcast encourages you that you can become an effective coach in very little time.

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#021: Setting Goals [Podcast]

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Recently, I led our church leadership team through a goal setting process. Five ways of improving their goals stood out to me. I talk about them on this podcast.

1. Brainstorm achievements rather than ideas
2. Don’t have more than three goals
3. Be sure and put a “When” date on the goal
4. Create goals that need a team and which develop leadership
5. Make sure the goals are definitely achievable

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#020: Keys to Starting a Discipleship Group [Podcast]

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Brian and Danelle Miller share their experience in starting new discipleship groups.

Four keys:

  1. Ask the Right People
  2. Set a Good Relationship
  3. Introduce Coaching
  4. Set Up Reproduction from the Beginning

 

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#019: A Coach Approach to Leadership [Podcast]

Bill Copper is a PCC level coach and the Executive Director of Coach Approach Ministries. He is my mentor coach and taught me the key teachings that have made me an effective coach.

Offering a class in Findlay, OH on a Coach Approach to Leadership on March 23-24, 2015.

Pastors receive a ton of training on how the church functions, how to interpret the Bible, but don’t get a lot of training on leadership. There is a real gap in those leading our congregations today.

Three areas coaching has helped church leadership

1. Lead and Staff Pastors hiring their own coach.

2. Lead and Staff Pastors take on the mindset and skill set of a coach. They begin to take a coach approach to leadership. Bill explains the important distinction between coaching and a coach approach.

3. Train Leaders to use coaching skills and mindset.

Three Kinds of Leaders

1. Command and Demand

2. Refrain and Abstain

3. A Middle Way which pulls the best out of the other styles and leaves out the worst.

Situational Leadership

(3dm calls this the “Square”)

1. Start with directive behavior

2. Still directive but more supportive

3. Mostly supportive. Some directive.

4. All supportive. No direction.

Coaching is meant to build capacity in others not to build dependence on the coach.

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#018: Insights of a Beginning Coach [Podcast]

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On this podcast, I interview my wife, Danelle Miller who has slowly dipped her toe into the water and developed into a fantastic coach.

Danelle’s Observations about Coaching

  • Coaching physically changes Brian’s demeanor.
  • Coaching helps me see better that everyone has forward movement to make.
  • Danelle talks about coaching with our kids.
  • “We don’t want to raise great kids. We want to raise great adults!”

Danelle’s First Steps in Coaching

  • Started with 501
  • Saw some successes in informal settings.
  • The Shape of the Conversation – Episode 16
  • What surprised you? Some questions seem almost magical in their power.
  • Moved through 502 and now in Mentor Coaching.

How has coaching impacted your leadership in your church?

  • Gave me confidence to start a small group.
  • Coaching will be a major element in the small group and when she explained coaching, the ladies got excited and said, “I need that! I want to learn how to do that!”
  • Danelle talks about how coaching impacts being a worship leader.

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#017: An Interview with Reggie McNeal [Podcast]

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Author/Speaker Reggie McNeal, known for his books The Present Future and Missional Renaissance, joined me for an interview about how to build a coaching culture in the local church.

Reggie mentioned several benefits:

1. Improved communication skills

2. Life-centric mindset

3. Accountability and specifity

4. Better learning styles

When asked how to build a coaching culture in the local church, Reggie encouraged:

1. Practice in the leadership. Get key leaders a coach. Get key leaders trained.

2. Be intentional about training small group leaders, ministry teams, staff, and everybody else.

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#016: The Shape of a Powerful Conversation [Podcast]

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A powerful conversation has a distinct shape. Jane Creswell, with Coach Approach Ministries and Internal Impact, designed the hourglass coaching model. This is my bread and butter, and I’m glad to share it with you.

 

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#015: Some Limits Aren’t Real [Podcast] Repost

 

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Assumed Constraints – An assumed constraint is a belief based on past experience, that limits new experiences.
Two Examples:
  1. Elephant tied by his leg when he was young and couldn’t bust the rope
  2. I can’t weigh less than 200.
“Indicators that an assumed constraint may be holding you hostage are negative internal dialogue, excuses, and blaming statements. At one time or another, most of us have assumed that because we did not have direct authority or position power, we could not be leaders or influence outcomes. This is one of the most common constraints in the workplace.
This is not to say that all of us aren’t constrained by outside forces, whether it’s a lack of time, money, or position of authority. Yet self leadership teaches that the constraints are not the problem; the problem is that we think these things are the only sources of power that are available to us. Every successful person can almost name the time and date when they decided to let go of an assumed constraint.” – Ken Blanchard in Leading at a Higher Level.
More Examples:
  • Calling can only be to a missionary or a pastor
  • Board members have to be over 50
  • Church has to look a certain way
  • Only one way to be financially sustainable
  • There are not any suitable potential mates available
  • Frequency of meeting times limited to what we’ve done before
  • You need to graduate college to be successful
  • Maybe a parent made you feel powerless.
  • I’m not good at crafts
  • Identify possible assumed constraints

How to Coach Assumed Constraints

  1. The coach challenges a perceived limit.
  2. The client makes a plan to overcome the perceived limit.

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#15: Some Limits Aren’t Real [Podcast]

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Assumed Constraints – An assumed constraint is a belief based on past experience, that limits new experiences.
Two Examples:
  1. Elephant tied by his leg when he was young and couldn’t bust the rope
  2. I can’t weigh less than 200.
“Indicators that an assumed constraint may be holding you hostage are negative internal dialogue, excuses, and blaming statements. At one time or another, most of us have assumed that because we did not have direct authority or position power, we could not be leaders or influence outcomes. This is one of the most common constraints in the workplace.
This is not to say that all of us aren’t constrained by outside forces, whether it’s a lack of time, money, or position of authority. Yet self leadership teaches that the constraints are not the problem; the problem is that we think these things are the only sources of power that are available to us. Every successful person can almost name the time and date when they decided to let go of an assumed constraint.”  – Ken Blanchard in Leading at a Higher Level.
More Examples:
  • Calling can only be to a missionary or a pastor
  • Board members have to be over 50
  • Church has to look a certain way
  • Only one way to be financially sustainable
  • There are not any suitable potential mates available
  • Frequency of meeting times limited to what we’ve done before
  • You need to graduate college to be successful
  • Maybe a parent made you feel powerless.
  • I’m not good at crafts
  • Identify possible assumed constraints

How to Coach Assumed Constraints

  1. The coach challenges a perceived limit.
  2. The client makes a plan to overcome the perceived limit.

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#014: Success [Podcast]

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On this podcast, Brian talks about the benefits of his 8 week Sabbatical and encourages every church to give their pastor a Sabbatical.
The main focus of the podcast is Brian’s reaction to the Epic Fail Pastors Conference mentioned in this Christianity Today article.
As a dynamic young preacher at a large church, J.R. Briggs felt God calling him to start a church plant. It quickly grew to 100 – then stopped. Five years later it’s roughly the same size. Disappointment led him to found the Epic Fail Pastors Conference – “a gathering for pastors and leaders seeking to understand how God works through failure.” P 87, Christianity Today, July/August 2014
Brian discussed the definition of success and how coaching can help a pastor understand and achieve clear measures of success. Attendance is not a clear measure.
It started with attending pastors’ conferences. They featured well-known pastors of large churches, but average pastors were never invited to share their experiences. These events were all about success and getting results. … I needed something that wouldn’t discourage me or add to my spiritual vertigo. … I needed an AA meeting for pastors, but there was no such thing.
Other thoughts on success include:
  • Not Sacrificing your family
  • Sustainability

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